Can I really do this? What was I thinking? I'm never going to be ready for this! What if I fall off my horse in front of Chris Cox? Well actually I already did that and lived through the embarrassment, but that's a story for another day, so I'm not sure what I'm worried about! I've been trying to get as prepared for the Clinic as I can and have been trying to get as much riding time and exercise into my schedule as possible. But will that really make a difference with just a couple weeks of preparation? I wish I had started earlier! But then would I have kept up the momentum?
As I prepare for the Horsemanship Clinic, these are the thoughts that are running through my mind. But amidst the mounting anxiety, this week's Facebook memories reminded me that I ran my first 1/2 marathon 5 years ago. Keep in mind that I have never considered myself "a runner." I run casually for the exercise but that is typically the extent of it. When my friend said, "Hey, let's run a 1/2 marathon," I accepted the challenge (albeit with great hesitation). I find myself in the same predicament. Before the 1/2 marathon I didn't feel that I was ready or that I had trained enough. In the end, I ran 13.1 miles and had an amazing experience. It is uncomfortable to commit to something that is going to push you past your limits. And no matter how much you try to prepare, I don't think you ever truly feel 100% ready. Sometimes you just have to have faith that you've given it your best.
It does kind of feel as though I'm running a race. I have to pace myself or else I'll run out of energy before the finish line! If I focus too much on one thing, then everything else that gets ignored will stop me from running. Right now I'm juggling a lot and trying to keep my focus on my priorities. And although I need to exercise, get time in the saddle, and work on my horsemanship skills (so hopefully I kinda look like I know what I'm doing at the clinic!), I have to remember that my focus remains spending time with my family. We seem to only get snippets of time together as it is. So when that precious time presents itself, I want to give them my full attention. I just have to have faith and hope that I'm as ready as I can be and just enjoy the race as I run it!
When I see Rainbows, I believe they are a sign of hope. A dear friend shared this photo this week of a rainbow over our home one morning, and on that same day I saw a double rainbow over our fields as I drove home. That lifted my spirits and gave me the hope I needed to keep focused and motivated this week. I do really look forward to being able to put my full focus on one thing for a week (especially since that one thing involves horses :) and I hope that it brings me more clarity and calm to continue to have faith and hope as I continue on this journey.
Kommentare